Naz blog.

2012-02-13T21:36:00.000-08:00

So Aida and Nolin called me up yesterday and said they miss me and wanna come over. They bought macdonalds on the way here and took my order in as well. I was in for a shock when i saw Yana at my front door with them. She MIA-ed for so long, and we exchange a massive hug. We made a huge mess on the living room table, omg haha. Aida left me hanging for so long.

We cracked up jokes, laugh and talk alot for the day. We actually downloaded Simsimi and killed boredom. They were talking about illuminati and the Sea of Galilee which scares the shit out of us. So while listening to a youtube video about the Sea of Galilee... I actually put a bottle of water outside so they could help themselves to it rather me going in and out of the kitchen. So Aida was so engrossed in the video that she confidently wanted to pour the water in a cup, with the cap still on. I kept quiet just so that we could laugh about it.

I'm so blessed to have this girlfriends of mine. And ofcourse, my bestfriends that are always busy with their own things too. <333 I couldn't ask for anything more.

2012-01-21T20:18:00.000-08:00

Woah, i didn't realised i haven't updated this blog for so longgg. Lets summarise what happened in my life lately. Hmm, O levels is over. Graduation day passed. Worked for awhile with something i love, kids. At a childcare centre. Results out. Went partying. ..... rotting now.

The day of graduation, O's hasn't even arrive. But i think i studied like shit, and my hard work paid off. I got way better than i expected and i was really filled with joy on that day itself. Mum was so happy. Of course, the first thing was sharing my joy. Glad Hairi did just as well. And... its only about a week left before i know where i'm going when my next school life starts in april.

And just when i thought i could be happy, and cast all my worries aside.. i couldnt. All i wanted is to atleast smell freedom. C'mon what havent i done enough? What, am i seven years of age now? It really sucks to be the only one in your family that your parent keeps hopes on. Ohhh whatever.

I really owe Hairi for always helping me out. Thank you so much. I love you and everyone around you that you love. <3

2011-12-17T06:02:00.000-08:00

Things have changed so much. I was taken aback when i thought of how fast the time flies.

I still kept those times alive, eventhough it was long over. Maybe i wasn't what you thought i was. I'm sorry i can never make you happy the way you are now. But till now, i never understand what went wrong and the worst part was knowing that i wasn't worth an explanation. I just wanted to know. Its been almost a year but i cant make myself feel what i felt the last time. I believe time really make me change who i am. I dont even know myself.... not anymore.

2011-08-29T07:01:00.000-07:00

Hello earthlings. Blog's been dead. See this guy above? Bet this tells you my life. We can act like bestfriends and lovers at the same time, that's what i love most. He's like a brother, a lover and a bestfriend to me. The fact that he always remind me of how much i've changed him, made me feel so special. I've never feel so appreciated before. Months passed so quickly, and eventhough we're not official, i know this will take us somewhere far.

Only thing is, i'm still afraid. It sure was hard for me to trust again. But this guy, he never gave up. I don't know where this will take us, but i love his presence more than anything. The first love is the sweetest but the cut is the deepest, they say. I can apply this, i guess. It was probably because i was still young and naive. I still am. But ZH, you see me the way no one ever does. Thank you for everything, for putting up with my crap, for still standing strong even when i'm hard to handle. Thank you.

2011-07-02T01:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, hello. I'm updating my blog today to say that.. i'll be missing for months from this blog. After weeks, i finally used this laptop. Hahahh. I'm rushing for time, i don't wish to waste the last few remaining months i have before O's. Okay goodbye readerss.

2011-05-17T01:15:00.000-07:00

I'm finally updating this blog. Sorry, i've been.. busy. Hah. Okay, lets talk about my life. Mid-Year exams are over, and i pretty much think i won't do that well. After SYF, things were a bit of a rush. We won silverrr, if i had'nt mention that. Yes, my hard work paid off. I'd have to focus and work hard now, this time its the books. Hahah.

Guess what? I think i'm believing in karma, heh. Okay anyway, i'm happy with my life now. People deserve whatever that comes in their way, be it good or bad. Right now, i'm having the moment of my life. He treats me just so perfectly. But i like it this wa, we don't have to be attach. Just friends with benefits. It doesn't make me feel so awkward, and i don't have to feel committed. We're taking things so slowly, because we knew what we want. This is what i've been waiting for. So here comes the feeling which i thought i'd forgotten.

I never want to set expectations anymore, i never want to feel upset over very little things. He's just too good. Its funny how everything started. Anyway, i'll be going ngaji in a while. Its been so long since i last went for ngaji, school ended so late.

I'm in love, with someone you can never know. (Y)

2011-04-14T08:31:00.000-07:00

YES, I MOVED ON. I went out today until late night with my friends to have dinner, a surprise one. Because life got tougher and we were all under so much pressure. Yayness to the dinner. ZH texted me all the wayyyyy, i thank god that i finally realised someone perfect like him. But i know i'll still have to take things slow. I just moved on, i just recovered and im facing a crucial year this year.

Everything i know about love and pain, i learned from you. You were my only and you took me in when i was hurt, but the most important thing you gave me was the one that hurt the most. If it wasnt for you, i would have forget how it feels to let go and how it feels to love again. So i thank you for the broken heart. Cause if it wasnt for you, i wouldnt be here with the love of my life, all my pain dissapeared. Ive come so far. So thank you, thank you for making me, me. I'll never have a broken heart again.

2011-03-18T23:58:00.000-07:00

The one thing i hate about applying nail polish, its damn irritating when it comes to removing it. My schoolwork is piled up, its waiting for me. But sadly, im very tired to even do it. I dont feel like doing it, its just too stressing. URGH. Things has just been so tough eversince he's not around. But you see, i want to be that girl. The girl that he cant walk away knowing she's mad at him, the girl that he cant fall asleep until he hears her voice, the girl that he actually cant live without. All i want is for you to realise how much i was there for you, when im gone.

I know its been hard for you, but its more harder for me. We're better off without each other, they say. You know what? I cant forget someone like you, someone who gave me so much to remember.

2011-03-08T04:53:00.000-08:00

Overall, this year has been a better year. Im doing good in everything, thank god. I never shed a single tear. Everytime i passed by the place that gives me thoughts of him, i smiled even if im inside the bus. He used to be everything.

Life has got the better of me . Getting stressed lately, but i thank god i have the strength to go through it. At the end of the day, all i want is to leave a great impact in his life when i left. And all i want is to achieve what im supposed to achieve.

Hate having to trouble my mum so much, and my brother has been so sick lately. He returned home weak from the hospital. Sigh.

2011-02-06T01:37:00.000-08:00

Mum, Happy Advance Birthday! You're getting old, hehe. I promise to take care of you. You're the only one im left with, and i love you so much. God, please please please give her strength for my family. I love her. And give me the strength too, to live her dream. Open my heart God, to be closer to you. And make me a better muslim.

The gifts i gave, will never repay your sacrifices mum. You're so much more than just a mother. As much as im thought to love Allah and Rasullulah, im thought to love you too.

2010-10-27T06:48:00.000-07:00

Maybe this is going to be long. I just came back from my trip to Bintan today and i have alot to share. Tears filled up our eyes, my mind could not stop thinking. My heart felt heavy to leave.
The first day was just mountain climbing, it was v-v-very tough. Took us about 6hours to finish it off, and my feet was badly hurt. Could have died there, but spirits build us up. My VERY-NOT-UNITED class suddenly became alive tht day, singing all th way. After dinner, we planned about th next day in schools and orphanages. Our resorts' room was awesome, its very nice. With th view of the sea, huge rooms with bathtubs and a balcony, with fridge and tv, we had a great time. All three, in the room.

Every night, i never fail to write my diary, reflection and took a video of what happened in th day. Th kids, they mean so much. I was given th chance to represent my school and gave a speech to th whole school there. One of th class i too, a girl came up to me and gave me her biscuit to bring home as well as her drawing. So sweet, i almost cried. Then at th orphanage, a boy kept on talking and conversing with me. Until i have to say goodbye and i told him to study hard. While crying, i converse with him in th bahasa indonesia language and told him tht i knew how it feels like living without a parent, but tht he have to study hard and face life.

At night by the sea, Afiq told us to close our eyes and look down and he told us of his life story as a teenager. I realised life in Singapore is much better and tht i love my family. Their life there is so hard, way harder. I cant stop thinking of them, i wonder what they are doing now.

2010-08-22T01:44:00.000-07:00

I took a step back, i pull everyth together. Took a deep breath, and say everyth's over.
I didnt have th slightest idea why everyth is ending up this way.

C'mon, i have limits too. You crossed the line. You have a problem then you face it up to me. Sorry to say that you've got no guts cause you're obviously in the wrong but you're acting like you were right all along!

when will everyth pull to a stop. I believe God wouldnt test me more than my own ability.

2010-08-06T04:29:00.000-07:00

Today's actual Musical was a success even if its th first time in school. These past few weeks reaching home late at night and having to do homeworks, yet coming back to school on saturdays for rehearsal and rushing home for madrasah, it was all worthwhile. Th camp overnight ystd before th musical today, was awesome.

I enjoyed everyone's company although not everyone stayed to overnight. Im going to miss everyth we went through. Especially th part teachers and students got crazy last night and dance and sing about in th hall. It was awesome.

Today, my dream became reality.

2010-07-29T05:10:00.000-07:00

Im tired for th musical. Since its th first time our school will hold a musical for national day in sch, we have practice everyday right aft school and it ends at 7pm. Even on saturdays, i find myself in sch. I dont have th mood to do schoolwork at home then, th tiredness conquered me. If only i could rewind th audition.

So nervous to sing alone just now. I need Lozenges!

2010-05-14T00:04:00.000-07:00

I dont know why i cant upload pictures. So instead, i took one using th webcam. Humph .
Just came back from meetinq Kinn. I finally wore th love bracelet Ieqa bouqht for me on my b'day.

I dont understand why at times, im put aside. This confidence tht i once had, tht i thought no one could break, is now in pieces. When i see th outside world, i wonder if i'd smile. I sat aside, took a deep breath and tried to ease myself. Th breeze, th wind, made me realised myself. Now as i lay, flashbacks overcome me.

I want to make th dead-feeling, alive. And not to make th alive-feeling, dead. This world is for people who love life.

I remembered. Prayers to God kept myself at ease. To Him, i looked up to. And to Him, i seek help and forqiveness from.

2010-04-24T03:15:00.000-07:00

Everything is starting all over again. I suppose thts th way it is and how it actually should be. And nth could change tht fact.
Mid-Year Examinations is on its way this monday .

I'd have to sacrifice myself AGAIN . I need to get my schoolwork done and get some revision. Too bad i'd have to restrain myself from this lappy and from hanging out again. Its not even O's, i knw. Just a year away from that important exam, O's.

2010-04-16T02:16:00.000-07:00

I know i didnt update for a long time. So here goes. For a moment, i thouqht im done with my schoolwork and i could just revise for my coming tests and Mid-Year Exams but then, i didnt see another stack of schoolwork coming. OMG.
Nvm, literature was true. We're all not ourselves. If we're given th chance, we'd have gone out and nt study. But there's nt much we can do.

And i cant give up now right? Damn, literature made my eyes open.

2010-03-19T21:28:00.000-07:00

Ystd was super fun, Vivo! Thanks to them . And credits to joker for th pic taken above.

At last, schoolwork is all done.

2010-01-07T01:26:00.000-08:00

There you go, th pictures i wanted to upload. Wont elaborate more.

Books were heavy but even when i went back home from school today, but its not as if someone would help me carry :(

2009-12-15T06:22:00.000-08:00

Met my babyg with her sis this morning to get my school stuffs with mum. Everything seemed funny when we went toqether. Flashback of alot of moments. Hahahah. Wanted to meet Atieqa in school but i didnt know wht happenef.

Bought our usual Caramel Coffee and Mocha Tiramisu and she went over to my crib. Lappy all th way, talk craps and eat (:
Then, i went over to her's and we chit chat abt some lame scary stuffs.

Her dad gave me something to drink. Supposed to be good for health but i heard it tasted baaad. I drank it anyway, i didnt want it to go to waste. And it tasted like fruit punch? Her dad mixed with fruit punch cause he knew tht we wouldnt drink it otherwise. Hahahah.

thick books for this yearrrrr damn

2009-11-05T00:42:00.000-08:00

Went to Pontian in Malaysia abt last week? Anw, sorry for th dead blog. So here's my post. I bet those pictures has done some story-telling. Went shopping to th nearest town there. Ate chocolate, chocolate and chocolate.

Anw some of you requests for links, so i'll do it soon.

2009-10-26T02:10:00.000-07:00

Hello peeps. Phew. Went to my cousin's occasion yesterday. And yeap, we cam-whored. Hahahah. I didnt wear tht punjabi/menggali clothes. Luckily, i was nt th only one.

2009-08-28T05:33:00.000-07:00

Earthlings! Phew, finally a new blog. Thanks to my twin sis, as usual. Gave her 10 bucks. Humans, sorry for th inconvenience at my previous blog. Problems with th code and i just kept on delaying to fix it.

So, its been deleted and this is my new blog. Thanks to sis! Nazirah. Dont forget to link me and tag aft u've viewed alright. Hahaha. Till here then i guess.